Language Barrier?

[Jim]

My wife, Karen and I met online while playing Spades almost three years ago. She was born and raised in New South Wales, Australia. I was born in California, to be close to my mother. When my father learned that most accidents happen within five miles of your home...we moved. The U.S. Air Force sent me to Texas in 1973 and I lived there until the Dept of Homeland Security sent me to Alaska in 2002.

So much for the background. I just wanted to show the contrasts in our upbringing. Karen flew here to Anchorage in June of 2006 and we were married three weeks later. Our second anniversary was just one month ago, today.

During the past two years I have been struggling to understand her. She understands me just fine because in Australia, she was raised on American television and movies. My only exposure to Aussie was Crocodile Dundee movies and watching the great Steve Irwin on Animal Planet. When she says, we need to, "go to the shop and get mince, devon, chips, and biscuits..." I had no idea that she meant, hamburger, baloney, french fries, and cookies. When I made her a nice breakfast which included biscuits and gravy, she was politely smiling but silently thinking I was a "silly sausage" (one of her endearments she uses often when I screw something up). On the other hand, I've shown her the joys of burritos, tacos, chili, chicken-fried steak, and grits.

I've tried watching some of her Australian movies but I can't for the life of me understand a single word they're saying. I know it's english, but I need subtitles!

In Texas, I ate a Sloppy Joe. In Australia it's a lightweight jacket. What I call a sweater she calls a jumper. When she said I should wear thongs, I had no idea she meant flip flops. I was quite relieved.

I've tried to assimilate her culture into mine and have acquired what I believe to be a passable Aussie accent when I try. I told her I'll fool her family when we go to visit someday. She says my Aussie accent sounds more like Mr. Magoo with a toothache.

Anyway, at the end of the day, a kiss, a hug, a smile, a touch, all mean the same thing in any language and I'm happy that I found her.

Tonight is Sloppy Joe night...I'd better lock the closet.

Jim

[P J Lawton]

I spent several years in England and yes the English language is rather strange. My favorite was when my then English girlfriend told me she would "come round in the morning and knock me up". Needless to say, I was all for it....

[Jim]

I live with that every day, PJ. It seems Aussies have rhyme slang. It has nothing to do with the subject or the original word.

[LuAnn Morgan]

Maybe you need a English/Aussie dictionary!
Great story. Thanks for sharing.

[Jim]

LuAnn: I'm thinking about writing one. It could come in handy before I go to Sydney. I'll probably start a fight without even trying.

Z: Thanks for reading it. That's the irony. We're both speaking English. At least I thought we were. I just learned a new one yesterday. Karen told me it was time to "hit the frog and toad." Translation: we're late and it's time to hit the road.

Jim

[LuAnn Morgan]

There are so many variations to the English language. We yankees have a terrible time trying to understand southerners!

[LuAnn Morgan]

What a great idea, Jim!
Hey, if you start a fight, take notes and photos to share with us. We'd love to hear about your trip!

[Jim]

LOL, LuAnn...I don't think the hospital will allow cameras.

[William Butler]

When I was stationed in Berlin, we worked with both the French and British. While it was out of the ordinary to find one of the French soldiers who spoke English, we conversed and interacted with the British on a regular basis. You're right about the differences in language--especially with slang and local colloquialisms.

Oddly, when we left the service and settled in Texas (my wife and I were both raised in California) we initially found it more difficult to understand the speach of our neighbors, than the Brits. After more than 25 years, however, we've managed to adapt.

William

[Jim]

Texas is a category in and of itself, William. When the Air Force sent me to Austin, I thought I'd landed on another planet. My coca cola suddenly became "sody wartar" and I learned that "awl" was something I was supposed to change in my car every 7500 miles.

Now that I've conquered the linguistic oddities of Texas, California, and Australia, I'm working on Alaskan slang. A snow cone is something you stay away from. Crushed blueberries mixed with seal fat, cascading in lumps over a ball of snow. Yum.

Jim

[Jim]

You're right, Sandy. When I was young and full of myself, I understood the universal language of love. And just in case, I learned how to say, "I love you" in eight different languages. At least I hope that's what I learned. We'll find out if I ever go to Russia or the Philippines.

Jim

[Linda LaRoque]

Loved this, Jim, and so interesting how you and your wife met. I've know lots of people to meet online and marry but none that were on different continents.

Being a Texas girl I have to say we talk just fine. It's those northern folks that are hard to understand. Took me forever to figure out what an igle was. Those folks in Maryland fed their blackeyed peas to the cows. Horrors! And we couldn't buy Dr. Pepper. Oh, but the crab cakes were to die for!

Linda

[Jim]

Thanks, Linda!

Texas girls are some of the best girls around. There's nothing like a slow drawl to hypnotize a man trying to order breakfast in a small diner. I had to explain to my wife that being called shug, hon, or sweety is not flattery but just the southern way. She was ready to go toe to toe with every waitress, hotel clerk, store clerk, or nurse we happened to see.

Black-eyed peas are for New Year's day, with ham and cornbread.

Uhhh, what's an igle?

Jim